random thoughts...

"i have another year here in xavier. i dont know where i'll be after that. i hear that theyre finally putting up a social involvement office here. but i dont know. its less appealing to me now. i just read the alchemist.personal legends and stuff. i realized that i've realized my personal legend with you. i even believe that if i die tomorrow, i wont have any regrets. i cant explain what ive gone through in the two years i stayed in davao. i cant even share it with anyone. funny lagi becasue in my christology class this week were talking about teh doctrine of the cross. how jesus nvites each of us to deny ourselves, pick up our cross and follow him. somehow, i wish to share with teh class that denying ones self may not be what we want but oncec we do it, we find out that its everything we need. how can i explain it to 14 year old kids? how can i tell them that two years ago i dared deny my self and journeyed to a place i barely know to people ive never met and that in the process i gained my very self? how can i teach them that the cross does not merely mean suffering but also salvation? they crave examples but somehow i always get tounge tied whenever i share my davao expereince.

i still think that those two years are sacred and you are sacred. even if i share them nobody will really understand except those who had also gone through teh process like my co-jvps. i still get bouts of re-entry blues. of belonging and yet not. of being happy yet sad. makabuang no?"

xuhs '03