Sunday, March 18, 2007 0 comments

Way Back Into Love (full version)

from music and lyrics


way back into love

ive always thought saturdays are most boring. its the day when i can't figure out what to do after a week of teaching and osasi work. when there are immersions, of course, thats a different matter. nevertheless, saturdays are like manggang hilaw. not really what i would want on a weekend.

but this saturday, things were different for a change. i was planning to watch PDA with pongracz so i thought about going to hs early so i could fix my things before i go to manila. the gods know i need to throw out lots of trash accumulated over a week. he he. but as i passed by CMO, i saw fr. jody and we agreed to have lunch at SM. well, knowing him we didnt just have lunch but also watched Music and Lyrics! It was all for free courtesy of his MTRCB card.:)

The movie was really simple. i dont wanna bore you with an intellectual review coz in the first place im not capable of one. hehe. BUT i loved the movie! i love it! it made me cry. the song is the best ive heard in months. ka-relate ang lola. hahaha!

it turned out to be a different saturday. thanks pads!
Monday, March 12, 2007 0 comments

To live would be an awfully big adventure.


Everyday i find a reason to live. That is, if i decide to. The past year seemed to flash before my eyes in a colorful whirl. Most of the time i was sad. The sadness that never went away. The sadness that one feels over and over again no matter how happy the moment is. It lurks there. Like a would-be pimple. ha ha.

Though sad, i cannot help but be grateful. Life has given me so much and i know that some of the sources of my angst are for want of things that i do not need or cannot have. Like a typical grown-up.

Imagine life as an adventure. I do not mean to be simplistic or to be overly optimistic. But many times this is what i cling to. Because there are times when life becomes a chore and i wish it to end: stop the routine, stop this mere existence. Yet someone, somehow insists that i live, to embrak once more in another adventure. Where the outcome is not the most important thing but the fight, the magic of being alive.

I know that this awfully big adventure will soon end. Still, its awfully good to be alive. *sigh*
Thursday, March 08, 2007 5 comments

I do believe in fairies, I do, I do.

Peter Pan: I do believe in fairies, I do, I do.

I believe in ghosts too coz i see them. It's a gift/curse i dont understand. Why and how did i get it? Is it something inherited? The earliest I remembered having a "sighting" was when i was seven. My parents and i just came back from a prayer meeting. It was almost midnight. We were drinking coffee in the dining room when i noticed a pair of eyes gazing at us from the window. The eyes were glowing red and so evil that i was speechless. I didnt even bother to scream. I didnt tell anyone. But that memory was so vivid it could scare me until now.

After that, the mere thought of cemeteries would freak me out. i would imagine skeletons rising from the grave and grabbing my ankles, etc etc.

The gift/curse returned when i was a jesuit volunteer in davao. when i "saw" my roommate sleeping on her bed. It turned out it wasnt her.

In xuhs, i "saw" women in black and fleeting shadows that move in the faculty room.

in retreat houses i was "disturbed" and "deprived" of proper sleep because "they" insist on grabbing my ankles, lying on top of me, or crushing me until i couldnt breath.

I wish i could see fairies too. fairies would be a lot more "pleasant" to see.

Yes, Peter i believe in them too. But then, have you ever seen a ghost in never never land?
Wednesday, March 07, 2007 4 comments

peter pan

the boy who never wants to grow up.

sometimes i get surprised that i'm turning 30 this year. i can't be 30! time flies so fast and i feel like i havent learned all that i want to learn. it doesnt feel like i've lived half of my life already. in so many ways im still that kid who loves to chase dragonflies and climb trees. i had a very happy childhood, a period of my life spent mostly on my own. and i loved it.

i miss being a child. i miss those times when i am not preoccupied with matters of great consequence. when a bag of chippy is heaven and my favorite pastime is reading comics in a noisy marketplace.

i miss bastekobre,bayay-bayay,tago-tago,buyan-buyan,riding bikes,ping-pong,swimming, joy-rides, tru orange,acacia... haayyy...

peter pan is right: "Forget them, Wendy. Forget them all. Come with me where you'll never, never have to worry about grown up things again."