graces i pray for

I do not want to make resolutions for the new year. Instead, i want to pray for the things i really want. I know my God loves me, irrevocably so. Over the years, i have been so amazed at how much He does and it is always with ceaseless wonder that i behold all the wonderful blessings He has given me. 

I have been shameless in asking Him for a lot of things but He has never disappointed me. And no matter how many times i sinned, He has always forgiven me and given me another chance. Nobody has loved me the way He does. It is a love that is persevering. I know that if God could roll His eyes at my adventures, He would have done so a million times.

We have a weird relationship, my God and I. I've been angry at Him so many times and have rebelled in childish ways over time. But one song, one smell, one leaf, one rainbow could make everything alright again. I would sense Him laughing with me again. Whenever I meditate on His face, the words he would always say is, "Nasad?" meaning, "You did it again?"

In times when I feel so down and guilty as if my heart would burst with pain, He would sit by quietly and listen to me with tears in His eyes.  As if my pain was also His, my tragedy His to bear.

This new year of 2009, I ask my God for these graces:

1. to love teaching again. i have been remiss and i have fallen short as a teacher.

2. to accept wholeheartedly whatever challenges married life has to offer us.

3. to regain my passion for things lost that still matters.

4. to be able to "look with awe and wonder" again.

5. to listen with loving kindness and to talk with great care and respect.

6. to touch hearts anew.

7. to find the courage to fight for what i believe is right.

8. to be patient and therefore loving.

9. to understand more and complain less.

10. to be strong in the face of new challenges.

Its 5 minutes before the clock strikes 12:00 midnight. Soon it will be a new year for everyone on this side of the earth. 

May we have the peace we long for. Happy New Year, everyone!