just when i've reached the top

kitanglad climb

the one who never came

You, beloved, who were lost

before the beginning, who never came,
I do not know which sounds might be precious to you.
No longer do I try to recognize you, when, as a surging wave,
something is about to manifest. All the huge
images in me, the deeply-sensed far-away landscapes,
cities and towers and bridges and un-
suspected turns of the path,
the powerful life of lands
once filled with the presence of gods:
all rise with you to find clear meaning in me,
your, forever, elusive one.

You, who are all
the gardens I've ever looked upon,
full of promise. An open window
in a country house—, and you almost stepped
towards me, thoughtfully. Sidestreets I happened upon,—
you had just passed through them,
and sometimes, in the small shops of sellers, the mirrors
were still dizzy with you and gave back, frightened,
my too sudden form.—Who is to say if the same
bird did not resound through us both
yesterday, separate, in the evening?
-Maria Rainer Rilke-

another fine day

have you ever wondered in your wanderings why life gives you shit most of the time yet one GOOD DAY in one FANTASTIC PLACE with WONDERFUL PEOPLE could make life worth more than the numbers your age have?

sometimes too life is all vibrant and heavenly for days and months and you think all the shit in the world couldnt make you stop feeling this alive and happy but shit does happen and it covers all the goodness you used to feel and now you think that life has never been worth living and all the happiness was just an icing to a half-baked, meaningless life you were meant to have in the first place and you realize that yes i did not ask to be born in a shitty world so who gave anyone the right to make me miserable?

may times this happens and still i like it when good days come though it makes me dread the shitty days because i know it will happen and no matter how much i know it will happen it doesnt stop me from feeling lost and empty and sometimes suicidal coz the gods above know just how to ruin my day with thoughts of love lost and gone and is not coming back anymore with hugs so tight it takes your breath away and when you remember to breath he's gone then the gods laugh and your day continues to be shitty and your nights as well so who can blame me if one day i just forget all the bad days as well as the good ones and keep right on exisiting with a fixed smile on a sad face?

its another fine, fine day and who knows you might just be missing me a little.haha.

jologs (SAP Reunion)

this other reunion.
it was amazing how we all got together, strangers yet friends, batch 1 to batch 3 plus one moderator. to say that that i am happy about the reunion is an understatement. its a sacred kind of joy to see these kids become what they are now, different yet the same. for one beautiful day, we all shed our presents and returned to our pasts. clearly the SAP spirit is very much alive. the jologs have remained jologs. distance and time have not turned them into cynical know-it-alls. we didnt even need names. its enough to know that were sap volunteers. same spirit, same call, same joy.

soybin

after all has been said, you remain...

THE BLOOPER KING!!!!

davao homecoming

my christmas vacation was super-homey... i attended a series of homecomings for which i am very much grateful. it reminds me not to be to antsy and just live life, whatever that means. hehe. thanks to generous people from whom i stole these pics.

ana k and binsoy's wedding in davao

thank you sham for welcoming me in your room and letting me ride your car and paying my food at marco polo cafe...
thank you kading for making time for me and sorry for the bomb...
thank you rommel for being there and for showing in word and in deed that indeed we are true friends...
thank you balot for hershey and for being so pretty...
thank you pingot for staying the same yet different and for the hugs...
thank you ja for your smiles and for accompanying me to the bathroom even if you know very well i just wanted to be with you...
thank you nina for your nice-ness and for re-affirming my belief in the goodness of people.
thank you belle for the beauty you shwoer us with...
thank you jp for the laughter! and for reminding me that happiness do come in nice, chubby packages...
thank you rome for letting me see you again...
thank you arthur for the number and for promising to be our guide this march...
thank you ma'am beth for the constant faith in my long gone abilities...
thank you bimbay for showing me that a woman can still be gorgeous at 30 something...
thank you ate tess for the coffee which i did not drink and the ability to understand infinitely...
thank you ana k and binsoy for the surprise speech! bwahaha! i wanted to say a million things but only three words will matter: i miss you.
finally, thank you carlo reyes for my hair and nails.