caamasi wisdom..excerpts from a life less ordinary

WE had spaghetti that night. Actually, we were all happy but tired. Yet we still still had enough energy to watch the teleseryes, talk and relive the adventure of the past days. We have seen our TNP's, we have teased each other to death, we have found new friends, we have dared things we wouldn't have done in any other time, we just lived. And for me it was a reunion worthy of the place.
We missed Errol. And we missed you. We imagined what it would be if you were with us. How much fun the DDG's would be. We will relive the habal-habal experience, the discomfort of sleeping on the floor, we will use again our tubaos, malongs, shawl and batiks, we wont care about our skin or how we look or even if we brushed our teeth. We will drink and smoke until the sun rises and sets. And we will sing, laugh, dance JVP style. Perhaps we will sing again One Step At A Time and do some chiki chaka. Perhaps we will backbite the staff a little, talk about FPJ or the economy, share our work woes and blues, and lament the absence of a lovelife. We could talk about sex now that were finally grown up and we don't have a cross hanging on our necks, about who's getting married and who's courting who. Then we could talk of God and JVP. And hopefully we remember our areas and the people we learned to love and cant forget. We remember our past loves and maybe recapture our idealism. God knows we need to be reminded sometimes. Hehe. Finally after everything has been said, we smile and have our picture taken using our old KB10 then we give each other THAT HUG which we haven't had for three years now. Then we know that we have found our TUNAY NA PAG-IBIG.

I love you, batchmates!!!

-siargao summer 04

hay, at last tapos na ang dalawang taong pagsisilbi ng kusang loob.
this is the last day of our year-end seminar. sa sinabi ko nga kanina
sa aming huling habilin, last na nga pala talaga ito. totoo na talaga.
hindi na ako vounteer pagkatapos nito. hindi ko ma-describe ang
feeling. kagabi we had our graduation. the last part required us to
sing our batch song na "I Will Be Here". Ewan ko kung anong
ka-dramahan ang pumasok sa puso ko at napaiyak ako. Ganito pala siguro
ang nagpapaalam. Akala ko mas masakit para sa mga naiiwan pero masakit
din pala para sa mang-iiwan. bigla ko lang naalala ang mga orsem,
zonals, midyear at yearend na nakasanayan ko na rin for two years. now
i have to learn to live without it. wala nang letter cycle,collect
calls to the central office, excerpts, nanay rosing...

grabe na gyud. five days kami sa oasis of dialogue dito sa zamboanga.
LL, i'm happy to report that i wake up on time just for breakfast and
i take 2 snakcs a day and i eat on time (syempre becuase of the bell).
everything just faded during the five days. it was just me, my
batchmates, our staff and my God. everything was so perfect. all of us
didnt want to go home. kaya naman bumaha talaga ang luha sa last mass
at huling habilin. kahit ako na naging cynical na sa ganyang mga bagay
ay napaiyak. i dont understand how i could miss 29 batchmates whom
i've been with for not more than a month (considering that we see each
other only during seminars in ten months. sabi nga ng isa kong
batchmate na si cindy, minsan tinantanong niya sa Diyos kung bakit sa
tuwing nagbibigay Siya ng gift at natutunan mo na itong mahalin,
binabawi na sayo kaagad. Binigay sayo, minahal mo tapos nawala dahil
kinuha. Para ngang napaka-unfair Niya. Ngunit sabi din cindy na
marahil hindi naman talaga kinuha ng Diyos ang gift nayon kundi
ipinasantabi lang sa atin kasi may inihanda siyang mas malaking gift.
Paano mo nga naman mahahawakan ang isa pang regalo pag puno na ang mga
kamay mo. Ang galing talaga.

this week was truly an outpouring of love for me. napatunayan ko na
naman na napakagaling ng Diyos. Sa mga kwento ng batchmates ko, sa mga
naging experience nila sa kani-kanilang eryas, nakikita ko ang bakas
ng Kanyang mga yapak. Kahit sa kadiliman ng mga nagyayari sa ating
bansa ngayon, alam ko na hindi natutulog ang Diyos. Aktibo siyang
nakikilahok sa pagbibigay pag-asa at pagmamahal sa atin at dahan dahan
niyang hinihilom ang ating mga sugat.

This week we also remembered Nanay Rosing. We spent a day sharing,
praying and watching videos made for her. Ma-feature nga pala siya
this sunday sa Inquirer. Medyo mabigat ang mga sessions na iyon.
Feeling namin lahat naulila kami.

chocolate na kaayo ko. but jvp does this to a person. takot nga ako
para sa aking sarili next school year. kanino pa ako makakakuha ng
panibagong lakas at inspirasyon kung wala na ang support system ng
jvp?

-zamboanga yearend 01

i just came back from a facilitating skills training
at xu. for the first time i get to meet the people i
will be working with for a year. it was weird. like i
really wasnt there. it was like when i had my masters
and all my classmates were quite old. nasaag man
siguro ko? it was a challenge to my maturity. i
finally accepted that i have moved on.

i dropped by the public calling station and mustered
the courage to call you. it was also weird calling
sico and asking for people. not like before that i can
easily demand to talk to anybody and even demand for
the name of the person i'm talking to on the phone.
now, i was very respectful and tactful like. it was
weird.

it's been 5 days since we last saw each other. it felt
like ages! some days i find myself crying over a tune
which i remember we sang together or a corny joke
which i heard you say before or when you txt me and
tell me things we used to talk about face to face.

moving on is hard. and im a coward for wanting to go
back. i know i shouldnt cling to the past. to faces,
smiles, hugs, jokes, songs, and stories which made me
grow so much. i'm not sure this e-mail will help my
process or texting you would lessen the sico-sickness
that i feel.

hindi ko nasabi sa letter ko for you na nakapaskil
dyan sa bulletin board pero salamat. salamat sa mga
kwento kahit corny minsan. salamat sa mga yakap na
usahay atempted murder. salamat sa mga bloopers that
truly made my day. salamat for your silent presence.
when we just sit together and do nothing.

i know that nothing i can write will ever capture the
magic of you. ibang klase talaga kayo kahit ibang tao
sinasabi yan. you're so easy to love siguro kay puno
mo og love.

grabe na ka chocolate. i look forward to seeing you
again. cguro by then i'll be more or less settled
dito.
one of my struggles man gyd an waking up early. like
ugma naa pa koy orientation at 8:30. hello! kung sa
davao na tulog pa siguro ko. sayo na gyud ko tulog
karon. as in 9:00 p.m. kung wala pay sige'g txt.

haaaaaay, ambot.

-cdo xuhs 01