Saturday, March 20, 2010

love happens, actually

March 21, 2009 Spring Equinox

The impossible happened exactly a year ago on the first day of spring.

Who would have thought that I would readily march down a church aisle and commit my life to a person two decades my senior and who comes from an island in another part of the pacific?

Who would have thought I would leave my mountains and stars and silence to be cooped up in closet apartment with a man who can't stop talking?

Who would have thought that I would dare to go home when the sun is still up and leave the familiar comfort of my XUHS cubicle and buy fish from the street market?

Who would have thought that I would get the courage necessary to sell oil and sugar and hand sanitizers in school?

Who would have thought I could ride a bike for 20 kilometers to keep a dedicated biker company?

Who would have thought I could go to bed with a stomach filled with green leafies and just mango, mango and mango?

Who would have thought I could actually enjoy going to graduate school after school?

Geez, who would have thought I would enjoy married life this much to want 350 years more! Hahaha!

I want to tell you a secret.

I never did picture myself getting married. Nor did I ever picture myself doing the things I just mentioned.

When my friends talk of walking down the aisle, I would dream of more mountains to cross and islands to explore.

When my friends talk of having kids, I would remember the annoying kids I teach and feel sorry for their parents.

When my friends talk of going home early to feed the baby and take care of hubby, I just feel annoyed that they could so limit their universe.

When my friends talk about troubles at home, I smile smugly and say "mirisi!"

Like some independent and naive thirty and single know-it-all with a bad case of wanderlust, marriage for me was a trip to nowhere. So there I was with happy thoughts of never growing up and hopping around the world on borrowed money when the fellow up in the clouds threw me the biggest punch.

Love happened.

Oh he did it subtly by making sure I would have no inkling what he's up to. He sent me a 50 something guy who claimed to be 45, had a string of gorgeous girlfriends, been around the world too many times than I ever could in a hundred years, and no blue eyes. It wasn't love at first sight at all. It was more like, hurry up and go back to where you came from so I can be with my students.

What person in her right mind would enter into a relationship with that? Or, what person in his right mind would want a relationship with me?

But that's why I call my blog "one never knows". It's because I'm crazy like my God. Hahahaha! I decided to call his dare and claimed this person as mine. I claimed him and dared God to take him back.

He did not. I can see him smiling smugly in the clouds with a twinkle in his eyes. And all he said was, Trust Me.

So love happened and I made a choice. 365 days later, I am now glad I trusted God. Coz instead of the "nowhere marriage" I pictured, my daily life has been so full of amazing and hilarious adventures. There is no boring day with Charlie. It's either we fight or we laugh. Hahaha! There are struggles but they are tempered with acceptance and understanding. There is a lot of fear but it is caressed by the gentle hands of comfort and faith. There are tears sometimes but they are easily wiped away by a hug or a blooper. There's still a lot of unknown, but there is also the knowledge that Someone willed this. Someone loved me enough to know what's good for me, for us.

To my dearest husband, you are a gift. A true treasure I have been blessed with. Thank you for 365 days of love and laughter. Happy anniversary, boo!


Lui said...

I love this post Shal! You definitely have the gift of writing.. And I could relate, that's exactly how I feel about my husband. He isn't my type really, but well.. love happened..

Keep writing and I'll keep visiting =) Cheers!

Lui of Pinaywifespeaks